Over the past many years that I have been travelling, often I have travelled in a group. Though my personal preference is to ride off on my own, often that situation turns into a group trip with friends and acquaintances joining me for the trip. And in all these trips the group is outside of their comfort zones. While in the city, we know what the day will bring. If there are speedbreakers or potholes on the way, we know how to handle them. We have friends and family to call on. We have our peer group to tell us what to do. We can pick up the phone and ask for help or advice or suggestions or just cry our heart out. But very often when we travel, we are outside the relatively cushioned existence of every day life, away from friends and family, away from ‘Friends’, with no one to call for help or support or succour.
I have faced this many times. Group dynamics has a life of its own and individual idiosyncrasies come out like never before. The facade comes off, the inner self surfaces and misunderstandings emerge, friendships are called to question and sometimes, unfortunately, relationships break down. All because we cannot deal with the environment to the best of our ability.
I am as much to blame since often, as the Shepherd of the team, I cannot keep my own emotions in check. I am human too and I have my own thoughts, prejudices and opinions. Opinions that take on an aggressive tone due to fatigue, hunger, thirst, lethargy, anticipation, exultation and all of them combined. I, who should know better about being outside of our comfort zones and the tricks it plays on our minds, have to be able to cope better. Yet, I do not, and often I become the centre of controversy. What can be a meaningful discussion while waiting for the food to be served, soon turns into an argument for no reason and the atmosphere gets vitiated for no good reason at all. Not that I do not stand by my opinions, but the way they are expressed leave a lot to be desired. After spending almost half a century on this planet, almost a majority of those years travelling, I should certainly know better.
Travelling is about understanding, about camaraderie, about companionship. It is about spending 24 hours a days looking at the private selves of each team member. In the city we are mostly exposed to what others want us to see. In the wilderness, it is all out in the open ... bare, naked, exposed. For those who are venturing out for the first time, it is expected, but I should know better. Every one has the right to have an opinion, as do I, and we need to respect that. If experience has taught us something and the recipient of that thought is not absorbent enough to grasp it, we need to learn to let go. After all, even I did not listen to my parents when I was younger. I made my mistakes and have learned from many of them. I continue to make mistakes and I suspect will continue to make them well into the future. Every person has a right to make mistakes and to learn from them. What we old fogies do not realise is that we cannot expect to expect others to do what we did not at their age. Let them make their mistakes and learn from them. All we can do is share a guiding light. It is others who have to take the torch and light their own paths ... if they so wish.
Some mistakes can be costly, but those are not what I am talking about. I am talking about opinions, what seems right and what seems wrong, what could be considered ill mannered by some but perfectly legitimate action by others. All these are very subjective and change with age, environment, generation, circumstances, etc. Let people be. Every generation has changed the world in some way or the other. Some would say for the better, some would disagree. But change is inevitable. And when the change becomes destructive, revolution happens. When change is positive, history is written. In my opinion more destruction has happened in the last hundred years than in all of previous history. In my opinion, a revolution is in the offing. Many will disagree, as is their right. But when we are outside of our comfort zones, these debates or arguments or discussions should not turn into animosity between individuals.
Something I am still learning.
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